Snipes wins three new ‘awards’

Well, it looks as if Wesley Snipes didn’t fiddle enough from his taxes to grease the appropriate palms, or maybe he just doesn’t know the right funny handshake.

One year in the slammer for each failure to file a tax return, and no hint (at the moment) that the three year sentence will magically transform itself into some sort of probation, or maybe day-release, or a nice little tag.

Our man should be taking a leaf out of the Paris Hilton book of blowj how to do hand hard time. A few more stints of bursting into tears maybe, and perhaps looking as if he’s coming apart at the seams while he’s got his back planted firmly, cheeks tighly clenched while ‘Alice’ sidles alongside, and he should be able to win over another judge on appeal, and get a reduction.

Wouldn’t be surprised to learn that there’s a roomful of lawyers somewhere, busily working out how to sue the judge and the court for the millions that Snipes will claim he will lose while he’s being banged up inside.

Maybe he’ll meet some vamps.

Gimme Gimme Gimme

Worth more than most of will ever earn in our entire lives, supposed ‘star’ Wesley Snipes just wants more money, anybody’s money, yours, mine, the government’s, the taxman’s – he doesn’t really care as long as he can have it.

Able to afford clever lawyers, Snipes manages to avoid being found guilty of out and out fraud and deception, which would really get him into trouble, but prosecutors have still recommended that he faced the maximum penalty for a “brazen defiance” of US tax laws.

Wesley Snipes should spend three years in prison and be fined $5m (£2.5m) over tax evasion charges, US prosecutors have said.

Like it will ever actually happen, that one of the shiny (is that the sheen of Teflon I see?) people should go to jail for something so trivial.

Unless he gets judged by someone with a sense of reality, and that wants to send a warning shot across the bows of the rest of the holy celebrity clan, then I suspect there will be the rustling sound of a cheque book coming out, the swooshing sound of pen signing on the line, and the good Mr Snipes will jet off to enjoy his millions, safe in the knowledge that there’s still a few bucks in the pot for the next rainy day.

Seems that when the word defraud is used here, it magically turns into the word disagree.

The alchemists would love it.