The Auld Git’s Blog

Just another Auld Git

Posts Tagged ‘obscene

Boiled horse voted the ‘LEAST SEXY’ IN SEX AND THE CITY

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Proving that pure tat can make a programme popular, I’ve never seen ‘Sex and the City’, and would never insult myself by choosing to see such rubbish were it not for the endless promotion it receives between other programmes.

One of the things that I’ve never understood is the truly unattractive lead character, who keeps on being promoted as if she was beautiful – she’s not! But has even appeared in adverts for beauty products or perfume – products which clearly don’t work, or if they do, she forgot to use them the day they filmed. Some advert for her own range of overpriced junk.

Clearly an example of promoters trying to maintain a myth by repeating it often enough, but it looks as if it isn’t working any more:

Sarah Jessica Parker has been snubbed by fans of Sex and the City, who have voted her character Carrie Bradshow the show’s least sexy female.

The actress’ cocktail-swilling journalist alter-ego has come bottom of a poll conducted by Pincer Vodka, to mark forthcoming movie sequel Sex and the City 2.

Kristin Davis’ conservative art dealer Charlotte York is the surprising winner, ahead of flamboyant maneater Samantha Jones – played by Kim Cattrall.

Cynthia Nixon’s redhead lawyer Miranda Hobbes claimed fourth place, relegating Bradshaw to fourth, and last, place.

Pincer Vodka CEO Jonathan Engels said: ?We were stunned with the outcome of the poll and we suspect Sarah Jessica Parker might need more than one Cosmopolitan to drown her sorrows.?

So reports The Daily Star Celeb News :: Parker’s Bradshaw voted the ‘least sexy’ in Sex and the City

I’ll carry on laughing at Jeremy Clarkson’s description of this female troll, when he described her as looking like a “BOILED HORSE”.

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Written by auldgit

May 17, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Amy ‘nearly died after drug binge’ – WHO CARES?

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Blake Fielder-Civil, 27, told THE SUN how the singer’s eyes went blank and she had a fit before she passed out and stopped breathing.

THE SUN? This story wouldn’t have anything to do with a bit of sensationalism and bit of cash by any chance?

He told The Sun how, in panic, he had pulled his then wife’s tongue out of her mouth so she would not bite it, opened her mouth and breathed air down her throat.

HE WHAT? That soundS more like the sort of kinky romp the two would NORMALLY get up to for kicks when on drug-crazed high, and he’s just some sort of…?

The 25-year-old star had started a drink and drugs binge three days earlier in a pub near Heathrow to celebrate the success of her 2006 album Back to Black, the newspaper reported.

So, assuming this rubbish is true, and the waste of skin really did this, then there was nobody holding it down and forcing the drugs down its throat, up its nose, or anywhere else. WHO CARES?

Fielder-Civil, who divorced Winehouse this month on the grounds of her adultery, said the episode was “the most frightening thing I had ever seen”. He had been taking heroin and crack too and was trying to get his wife to go to bed as she had not slept for three days, he said.

So What? The only surprising thing here is that the drugs brought him out of his normal stupor.

What’s the point of taking this story to THE SUN?

The readers can’t read, so they won’t be able to read it, unless there are pictures to go with it, so the only reason can be to make some money, and make the rest of sick.

DON’T CARE!!!

DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!!

STOP PUSHING THE FREAK IN OUR FACES IN THE NEWS, IN THE PAPERS AND IN THE MEDIA!!!

IT MAKES US SICK EVEN TO LOOK AT IT!!!

Written by auldgit

July 27, 2009 at 8:24 am

Twice as bad with Elvis

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Fat, overweight, drug soaked, died-on-the-bog king of nothing Elvis Presley did Britain a great service by only visiting it and despoiling it once, or so the relatively good news used to be.

The story of his flying visit when his plane landed at Prestwick (so, the Scots aren’t always the lucky ones) and the creep was seen wasn’t the only time his presence disgraced the Great Britain.

Now it seems the misery for the land has just doubled, and Mr Greasy was here twice…

Veteran rock star Tommy Steele has admitted he took Elvis Presley on a secret tour of London in 1958.

For more than 50 years, brain-dead Presley fans have believed the only time he ever set foot in the UK was during a stop-over at Prestwick Airport in March 1960, (and tried to convince the non-brain-dead that he’s still alive and well somewhere, rather than still trying to flush himself down a toilet somewhere).

But theatre producer Bill Kenwright revealed Steele’s secret on Radio 2.

In a note passed to the Daily Mail, Steele said he “swore never to divulge publicly” what took place and he “regrets” that news leaked out.

The 71-year-old, who is currently appearing in a production of Dr Dolittle in Woking, said: “I can only hope he [Presley] can forgive me.

Mr curl-up-and die-on-the-toilet might, but the rest of us don’t forgive you for letting slip that the disgrace to humankind has now doubled his time here, and made the place just a little bit dirtier than it was before.

How the heck anyone can have any admiration for someone like that is beyond me. If he’s been my boy I’d have done the decent thing years before, and shot him, and them myself for bringing him into the world.

Written by auldgit

April 23, 2008 at 1:02 am

Jordan bu(r)sts out

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Another waste of skin, and what a lot of skin in some places, JORDAN is now forcing her abhorrent and gross carcase into our faces on the front covers of any magazine that will let this media whore collect a few more pieces of silver to finance her, and her plastic toy-boy’s life style. The saddest thing as these things are allowed to breed – you can only the pity the kids and what they will become in the future, with parents like that.

After spending her past life forcing larger implant upon larger implant into her chest to keep herself propped up somewhere around the top of the media spoil heap, she’s now getting herself headline billing one the celebrity rags by proclaiming “I’ve ruined my body” or some similar rubbish.

WHAT DOES SHE EXPECT?

Nobody twisted her arm up her back and forced her onto the plastic surgeon’s table! She did it all on her own and for no reason other than to get attention, or rather money. Anyone with more than the celebrity single brain cell knows that boob jobs have consequences, and if you’re going to get the job done, and done repeatedly to extreme, then hell mend you if you suffer the consequences.

IT’S STILL GOING ON THIS WEEK!

Obliged to walk past those damned celebrity vermin magazines on the way to the supermarket checkout, there’s little, sorry BIG miss ‘I can cover my nipples with a piece of string and get all the photographers to watch in case I slip’ adorning their covers for the second week running, and having told us she’d ruined her body last week, this week there’s some drivel about ruining her life or something to be had.

It just makes you wish that rubbish like this would turn into something useful like a ding beetle, and go crawl away and give the rest of peace, and a break from having to see them, no matter how much we try an avoid it.

Written by auldgit

February 19, 2008 at 9:22 pm