The Auld Git’s Blog

Just another Auld Git

Posts Tagged ‘cynic

Twice as bad with Elvis

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Fat, overweight, drug soaked, died-on-the-bog king of nothing Elvis Presley did Britain a great service by only visiting it and despoiling it once, or so the relatively good news used to be.

The story of his flying visit when his plane landed at Prestwick (so, the Scots aren’t always the lucky ones) and the creep was seen wasn’t the only time his presence disgraced the Great Britain.

Now it seems the misery for the land has just doubled, and Mr Greasy was here twice…

Veteran rock star Tommy Steele has admitted he took Elvis Presley on a secret tour of London in 1958.

For more than 50 years, brain-dead Presley fans have believed the only time he ever set foot in the UK was during a stop-over at Prestwick Airport in March 1960, (and tried to convince the non-brain-dead that he’s still alive and well somewhere, rather than still trying to flush himself down a toilet somewhere).

But theatre producer Bill Kenwright revealed Steele’s secret on Radio 2.

In a note passed to the Daily Mail, Steele said he “swore never to divulge publicly” what took place and he “regrets” that news leaked out.

The 71-year-old, who is currently appearing in a production of Dr Dolittle in Woking, said: “I can only hope he [Presley] can forgive me.

Mr curl-up-and die-on-the-toilet might, but the rest of us don’t forgive you for letting slip that the disgrace to humankind has now doubled his time here, and made the place just a little bit dirtier than it was before.

How the heck anyone can have any admiration for someone like that is beyond me. If he’s been my boy I’d have done the decent thing years before, and shot him, and them myself for bringing him into the world.

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Written by auldgit

April 23, 2008 at 1:02 am

Chantelle makes a million?

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Has celebrity culture corrupted Britain?

BBC’s Big Question this morning, which was bad enough when we had to put up with Myleene Klass whining on about her past life and problems (which still gave her a big fat path to the bank), she then had to lie outright and try and make us believe that the her Baby Diary was never written with the intention of publication.

Give us a break!!!

Does your worshipful position as a celebrity (spit) give you the right to insult everyone by suggesting their brains are defective?

Then she compounds the insult by trying to make an “It’s no big issue” claim that she thought it should be a warts and all account, and that she turned down the publisher’s offer to remove the ‘potentially embarassing’ personal bits.

Give us a break!!!

What you really mean is that you sat with your agent and worked out how many more copies the gritty bits would sell, and what they were worth.

Where did Chantelle come into the story?

Just that her name came up, along with the fat slob Jady Goody, and we were treated to the information that Chantelle, who has to one of the greatest wastes of skin in the land (Jade’s got too much, and would make 2 or 3 leather suites), had an income approaching £1 million last year.

What for???

Target practice maybe…

A candidate for my forthcoming TV show… I’m a Celebrity, GET ME!

Written by auldgit

February 17, 2008 at 11:08 am