The Auld Git’s Blog

Just another Auld Git

Posts Tagged ‘con

Kerry Katona dump

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The title of this post was Kerry Katona dumped, then I realised that dump was another word for turd, and that just seemed even more accurate, so went with the shorter version.

I’ve never understood why Iceland went with the fat tart, portrayed as if she was some sort of lovely caring mother in their adverts – well, I do know, it;s because she’s another piece of celebrity vermin that attract viewers looking for gossip.

I’ve never understood why the fat tart was also promoted as being attractive, as she’s far from it until covered with makeup applied by an expert, and she’s got a mouth like¬† bucket, and now we know she’s got a nose like one too, thanks to the video that shows her having a good snort to keep her going for another few minutes.

Why are people so willing to be conned like trash such as Kerry Katona, and throw money at them to let them have a life that most people can only be envious of? And why do they always waste it, with drugs and the like.

Celebrity vermin I call them all, and celebrity vermin nearly all of them prove to be, and they should be put down, just like vermin.

At least Iceland didn’t waste any time, and administered a good size 12 boot up her backside, and got rid of the smackhead at the first opportunity, and didn’t go in for any sympathy nonsense.

Like the smug bitch isn’t laughing all the way to bank with their money already, with their ¬£250,00 for doing sod all but putting he fat face into their ads.

Good choice of product there though – stuffed pig pork!

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Written by auldgit

August 19, 2009 at 10:08 am

Winehouse rumour machine moved into top gear

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After carelessly being caught lashing out violently towards an innocent fan in the audience at Glastonbury, it looks as if the cheque books were out in force, and a few handy witnesses have come out of the woodwork with suitably honourable stories that turn the evilness into a virtuous and wronged individual.

Not only do they manage to come up the guy that was supposedly whacked, he’s such a nice, big-hearted, all round good guy, that he’s “disappointed”, but has no intention of making a complaint (to the police).

Neither would anyone else with the chance of a cheque on the horizon.

I don’t know what the rules are for getting into Tussaud’s waxworks is these days, but I guess they still have the medical section with all the deformed foetuses, body and face casts from those disfigured by illness, and the various freaks that were recorded as wax models.

I suppose they must still have the medical horrors section, and I see that Amy Winehouse is set to be immortalised in wax by Tussaud’s.

They’ll have to do something about the warning on the entrance to the display area though, as the present one is just not adequate to protect anyone of a sensitive or nervous disposition that might wander in see her with that alien attached to her, head, and if the warning is not made more graphic they could end up in court being sued if anyone faints, or collapses and dies from the shock of seeing it.

Written by auldgit

June 30, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin

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Unstable Winehouse lashes out at concert

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Even when the drug-crazed Winehouse freak is trying to gain sympathy and con people into feeling sorry for her by having her family exaggerate tales of her suffering from the deadly lung disease emphysema, we still have to put up with her horrible appearance being shoved in our faces by the media. At least the truth slipped out in a reference to the London Clinic, where she is being treated for traces of emphysema. TRACES!!! Well, I’ve got traces of money in my pocket, but I still can’t afford to uby fuel and run a car any longer.

So seriously ill is Winehouse that she can still be ferried from her holiday home, eh, oh right, hospital bed and rehabilitation clinic, and is fit enough to perform (mime?) on stage at an outdoor concert – wow, she must be really really ill. And after all that illness, she’s still reported to have lashed out at a fan – lucky fan, imagine having to be treated for rabies, even nowadays.

Her twisted and distorted brain sees fit to decry fellow performers that appeared next her at Glastonbury, and managed to use the highly intelligent method of a string of four-letter words when referring to rapper Kanye West, but clearly thinks her jailbird husband deserves much better consideration, even though he’s in prison for causing grievous bodily harm and perverting the course of justice. A real nice guy, and just like his worse half.

Please Winehouse, get really ill in some way, not a pretend way, go to hospital, and keep out of our faces until you’re fixed, or put to sleep so spare suffering.

Written by auldgit

June 30, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin

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Stupid dumb women

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Apparently, some think the death (at long last) of super conman Yves St Laurent is something to be mourned – well, there’s no accounting for how some people’s brain’s are wired.

One of the most amazing things that this story brought to light (well, for me anyway, since I run a mile whenever anyone mention the old crook) was that he was nicknamed The Pied Piper. Unbelievably, the reason for this name arose from women themselves, who appeared to pleased to have this term follow their desire to follow whatever decree the conman issued from his millionaire’s mansion, dependent upon, and funded by their mindless desire to obey his commands.

Whatever happened to brains, the feminists, and even that old stand-by, Political Correctness?

You’d have thought that the very hint of the Pied Piper nickname being associated with brainless, unthinking women – would that be BIMBOs then – would have been enough to have them picketing every shop that that sold over-priced rubbish with an Yves St Laurent label stuck on it, rather than waiting like bitches on heat for the next crumb he was to throw.

The sad thing is that he founded a dynasty, so this rubbish will not die with him, and the Bimbos will continue their mindless worship at the altar of the holy Designer Label.

Written by auldgit

June 2, 2008 at 9:42 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin

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Twice as bad with Elvis

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Fat, overweight, drug soaked, died-on-the-bog king of nothing Elvis Presley did Britain a great service by only visiting it and despoiling it once, or so the relatively good news used to be.

The story of his flying visit when his plane landed at Prestwick (so, the Scots aren’t always the lucky ones) and the creep was seen wasn’t the only time his presence disgraced the Great Britain.

Now it seems the misery for the land has just doubled, and Mr Greasy was here twice…

Veteran rock star Tommy Steele has admitted he took Elvis Presley on a secret tour of London in 1958.

For more than 50 years, brain-dead Presley fans have believed the only time he ever set foot in the UK was during a stop-over at Prestwick Airport in March 1960, (and tried to convince the non-brain-dead that he’s still alive and well somewhere, rather than still trying to flush himself down a toilet somewhere).

But theatre producer Bill Kenwright revealed Steele’s secret on Radio 2.

In a note passed to the Daily Mail, Steele said he “swore never to divulge publicly” what took place and he “regrets” that news leaked out.

The 71-year-old, who is currently appearing in a production of Dr Dolittle in Woking, said: “I can only hope he [Presley] can forgive me.

Mr curl-up-and die-on-the-toilet might, but the rest of us don’t forgive you for letting slip that the disgrace to humankind has now doubled his time here, and made the place just a little bit dirtier than it was before.

How the heck anyone can have any admiration for someone like that is beyond me. If he’s been my boy I’d have done the decent thing years before, and shot him, and them myself for bringing him into the world.

Written by auldgit

April 23, 2008 at 1:02 am

POOH Gillian McKeith free ad on the BBC

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Failed con artist Gillian McKeith – famous for being caught trying to call herself Dr Gillian McKeith, but told to stop it after it was found she got the ‘title’ out of a Lucky Bag – popped up to advertise herself on the BBC tonight, with Jonathon Ross, where both of them had a great time discussing pooh.

Hatchet Face didn’t miss an opportunity to mention her holistic witchraft business, and how she poohs TWICE a day, AND inspects wht she produces each time.

Better still, we learn that this weird woman has even got a special toilet in her home, with a special ledge to catch that slightly solid natural body product, so it can be viewed and closely inspected without the interference of the usual water contamination making a mess of it.

This woman is one of the most irritating little yapping dogs that won’t go away.

Claiming to offer eating advice, all she does is advocate not eating things that are known to be particularly healthy if eaten in excess as if she was spouting something clever, and advices folk that are eating rubbish to stop it.

So what does she actually do?

Well, as luck would have it she sells books full of her shi?, sorry, nearly said it there, full of her advice. Presumably to sad people that read it, think it has done them some good, and them carry on as before, lighter only in so far as their wallets or purses and now much lighter, and the witch’s bank account is that little bit heavier.

And, even though this was on the BBC, there was a free advert for Hatchet Face’s forthcoming new book.

It’s a wonder she has time to squeeze TV appearances in, with all these poohs she has to make way for every day.

Written by auldgit

February 29, 2008 at 11:18 pm