The Auld Git’s Blog

Just another Auld Git

Posts Tagged ‘dirty

Boiled horse voted the ‘LEAST SEXY’ IN SEX AND THE CITY

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Proving that pure tat can make a programme popular, I’ve never seen ‘Sex and the City’, and would never insult myself by choosing to see such rubbish were it not for the endless promotion it receives between other programmes.

One of the things that I’ve never understood is the truly unattractive lead character, who keeps on being promoted as if she was beautiful – she’s not! But has even appeared in adverts for beauty products or perfume – products which clearly don’t work, or if they do, she forgot to use them the day they filmed. Some advert for her own range of overpriced junk.

Clearly an example of promoters trying to maintain a myth by repeating it often enough, but it looks as if it isn’t working any more:

Sarah Jessica Parker has been snubbed by fans of Sex and the City, who have voted her character Carrie Bradshow the show’s least sexy female.

The actress’ cocktail-swilling journalist alter-ego has come bottom of a poll conducted by Pincer Vodka, to mark forthcoming movie sequel Sex and the City 2.

Kristin Davis’ conservative art dealer Charlotte York is the surprising winner, ahead of flamboyant maneater Samantha Jones – played by Kim Cattrall.

Cynthia Nixon’s redhead lawyer Miranda Hobbes claimed fourth place, relegating Bradshaw to fourth, and last, place.

Pincer Vodka CEO Jonathan Engels said: ?We were stunned with the outcome of the poll and we suspect Sarah Jessica Parker might need more than one Cosmopolitan to drown her sorrows.?

So reports The Daily Star Celeb News :: Parker’s Bradshaw voted the ‘least sexy’ in Sex and the City

I’ll carry on laughing at Jeremy Clarkson’s description of this female troll, when he described her as looking like a “BOILED HORSE”.


Written by auldgit

May 17, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Amy ‘nearly died after drug binge’ – WHO CARES?

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Blake Fielder-Civil, 27, told THE SUN how the singer’s eyes went blank and she had a fit before she passed out and stopped breathing.

THE SUN? This story wouldn’t have anything to do with a bit of sensationalism and bit of cash by any chance?

He told The Sun how, in panic, he had pulled his then wife’s tongue out of her mouth so she would not bite it, opened her mouth and breathed air down her throat.

HE WHAT? That soundS more like the sort of kinky romp the two would NORMALLY get up to for kicks when on drug-crazed high, and he’s just some sort of…?

The 25-year-old star had started a drink and drugs binge three days earlier in a pub near Heathrow to celebrate the success of her 2006 album Back to Black, the newspaper reported.

So, assuming this rubbish is true, and the waste of skin really did this, then there was nobody holding it down and forcing the drugs down its throat, up its nose, or anywhere else. WHO CARES?

Fielder-Civil, who divorced Winehouse this month on the grounds of her adultery, said the episode was “the most frightening thing I had ever seen”. He had been taking heroin and crack too and was trying to get his wife to go to bed as she had not slept for three days, he said.

So What? The only surprising thing here is that the drugs brought him out of his normal stupor.

What’s the point of taking this story to THE SUN?

The readers can’t read, so they won’t be able to read it, unless there are pictures to go with it, so the only reason can be to make some money, and make the rest of sick.





Written by auldgit

July 27, 2009 at 8:24 am

Vomit and Winehouse – any difference?

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Someone might think the Auldgit has a thing about the Amy Winehouse thing, nothing could be further from the truth and the Auldgit would be much happier if he he could look at his news feeds and not be sickened by this waste of space and skin being thrust in his face on an almost daily basis.

Today was partcicularly sickening, as we were presented with relatively graphic description of Winehouse’s filthy personal life and habits, which show it has little concern for itself, and less respect for others, as it covers designer clothes with its own vomit, and has no care as they are returned filthy for the owners to handle:

Employees at a top London store made a gruesome discovery recently when Amy Winehouse returned some borrowed designer dresses – covered in vomit.

An all night bender resulted in the soul singer covering £25,000 worth of Harvey Nichols gear in her trade mark messiness, according to a new report.

The Mirror quotes an insider as saying, “Unfortunately, while wearing one of the frocks, she went on an all-night bender.

“She ended up in the loos, where she was violently sick. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.”

The PRs at Harvey Nichols were disgusted by Amy’s lack of personal hygiene after the dresses were returned painted in chunks and green mould.

The insider added, “She eventually couriered them back on Monday, but didn’t wrap them separately. So sick had gone on all the clothes.

“Even worse, green, furry mould had developed on some gowns, making them unwearable.

“The store publicists weren’t best pleased. They send stuff out to celebs all the time, but it never gets into such a state.

“I doubt Amy will be sent any more designer gear for a while and the store has now asked for its £25k back.”

Written by auldgit

September 25, 2008 at 9:03 pm

George Michael rises to the level of the public toilet

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Filth like George Michael just can’t break their disgusting dirty habits.

Not content with fiddling with others…

It met lover Brazilian Anselmo Feleppa, struck up a close relationship until he killed Mr Feleppa with Aids two years later.

It was outed as homosexual after propositioning an undercover police officer in a public toilet in Los Angeles in 1998. The arrest and subsequent conviction for lewd conduct resulted in a $450 fine and 80 hours community service. Tough luck for the community concerned – with everyone watching their back(sides).

It spoken about the open nature of the relationship, and admitted seeking “anonymous and no-strings sex” on London’s Hampstead Heath. Thank god we know where not to go, or is that a hint as to where to go hunting?

He has made no secret of his use of marijuana, resulting in a number of scrapes with the law in recent years. He told Desert Island Discs his marijuana use could be “a problem” and said he is “constantly trying” to smoke less of the drug.

He was twice cautioned for possessing cannabis after being found asleep at the wheel of his car on two separate occasions in 2006. The same year, he was seen lighting what appeared to be a cannabis joint on a South Bank Show special, saying: “This stuff keeps me sane and happy.”

It’s not to good with cars either, and has had a number of run in with the law over that too…

As a result of one of the incidents, he was also sentenced to 100 hours of community service and banned from driving for two years. In 2007, he was also in the headlines after being accused of colliding with three parked cars and driving off without notifying the owners.


It’s been arrested in a public toilet for more drugs problems:

Pop singer George Michael has been cautioned by police after being arrested in a public toilet in London for possession of drugs. It was taken to a police station and given the caution for possessing class A and class C drugs.

“A 45-year-old man was arrested on 19 September on suspicion of possession of drugs in the Hampstead Heath area,” a Metropolitan Police spokesman said.

Who in their right mind would want to be near this piece of rubbish?

You’ll either get Aids or something nasty, or run a fair chance of being in some sort of car accident. If they don’t get, then the police might grab you, just for being stupid.

Written by auldgit

September 20, 2008 at 11:19 pm

Dirty Russell Brand

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Isn’t Russell Brand a dirty creep that should be thrown into the nearest skip, with a prayer that it will be lifted an carried off to an incinerator post-haste?

Without the decency to have a wash, shave and haircut at some time (and I don’t mean a short back and sides, you can have long hair without looking like something the cat or dog dragged in backwards through a hedge or building site), even though I don’t wan to see him because I don’t like gagging, he still has to popup in the news.

Looking as if he’d been living on the streets for a couple of years, and the dirt was caked on, he made an appearance in America, and true to form pulled a cheap shot to get himself noticed, making remarks I won’t dignify here, but were enough to merit some sort of grudging apology from the deranged, drunken smackhead.

Far from being a mistake or slip, if you don’t think the cynical pile of crap didn’t sit down and carefuly choose his insults so they would be outrageous enough to gain him publicity and notoriety, but not have him ousted and rejected after his first appearance Stateside, then you believe in the tooth fairy – and are broke!

Russell Brand should be thrown out in the street, cut off from the ridiculous amounts of cash he has been able to con people out of so far to fund his drug and drink soaked lifestyle (yeh, right, that’s all behind him – see the tooth fairy), and left to starve unless he gets a real job, working 40 hours a week for a pounds an hour, and having to work the same again in overtime to put a roof over his head and food in his mouth.

He’d probably drink what little he was paid, snort it up his nose, or stick it in his arm.

Written by auldgit

September 13, 2008 at 10:14 pm

A Winehouse and a Sick Bag please

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It’s torture…

Every time I look at the news or a home there’s some sort of rubbish about the horror that is Winehouse.

I’m now starting to feel physically sick when I see this freak pushed in my face for the umpteenth time – can’t some smart programmer come up with some codes that blocks her scrawny, dirty, hairy, scab covered, bony, drug and alcohol filled body from my eyes BEFORE the image is loaded onto the screen?

What’s the idea with the paint she smears at the side of her eye’s? I don’t get this at all. Apart from telling us she’s not capable of managing to get eye make-up within an inch of her eye, there’s the even sadder aspect that none of the people she’s giving thousand to look after gives a damn, and is prepared to let her go out in public looking like that to be laughed at, rather than doing something for their money!

As if that’s not bad enough, I now have to live with the Sun’s account of her cheating on her man while he’s inside, and she’s bonking the Babyshambles or whatever their name is.

She must paying them for it – would you let any fluid’s from that infected bag of skin touch you if it sneezed in the same room as you, let alone anything that might pass as a result of intimate body contact – the very thought’s enough to make your skin crawl.

You’d need a guaranteed, high-speed, emergency route straight to outpatients if you were daft enough to let THIS touch you…


Written by auldgit

May 3, 2008 at 10:54 pm

What a wonderful day (almost)

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What a wonderful day – as long as it lasts.

An accursed celebrity is going to jail.



3 cheers for the judge…



There’s bad news with the good.

Filthy druggy smackhead Pete Doherty, who likes to drive illegally too, (so you and your kids might meet him in an unforgettable and memorable way one day) has been carted away to jail, apparently for a miserably small period of only 14 weeks, but more on that later.

There’s a little more good news in that we won’t have to put up with his dirty, smoke-stained face leering at us from the media as the sentence means he gets to miss his gig at the Royal Albert Hall in April – you would have thought the managers there would have had more taste, and told him to go away and not be silly, but it’s amazing what a back-hander can get you.

Every silver lining has a cloud, and this case it’s the announcement that Mr Mucky may only spend a month standing with his back rivetted against a wall in the slammer, and could be out in time to go on another drug fuelled spree at Glastonbury.

Written by auldgit

April 8, 2008 at 11:52 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin

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