The Auld Git’s Blog

Just another Auld Git

Posts Tagged ‘alien

Give us peace Amy

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Please god, do something to stop the Winehouse freak from endlessly pushing her ugly face into the media at every opportunity.

It has to rank as one of, if not the most horrible thing that is currently being paraded under the name of celebrity.

Even that big fat Scottish thing-that-sings almost comes up looking presentable after all the slap has been caked on, and the excess hair ripped out.

Still pretty horrible to look at under the heading of entertainment, but better than the alien freakiness of Winehouse.

The whining groaning that is supposed to pass for talent is something that escapes me, and is still like some sort of animal being tortured that someone should attend to. Why, apart from giving her body away (and who would, you never know what you might catch) would anyone want to give this thing the endless stream of awards, it’s like rewarding drug-taking and over-dieting as if they were worthy activities.

As if anyone cares, we keep getting endless news releases about it’s life not being in danger, that it and it’s hubby are involved in criminal activities, but yet still seem to be able to escape any sort of justice.

Now it has been found not guilty of assaulting a dancer at a charity ball.

The court heard that the singer hit out at Sharlene Flash at in an “unfortunate accident”.

Isn’t it great what you can do when you’re celebrity vermin – and have enough money to buy everybody off.

Most offensive thing of all though was seeing the creep outside the court – smoking!

Just shows how “socially responsible” it is, setting an example of smoking drinking drugging violent celebrity for the all the kiddy fans to learn and follow.

If ever there was a case for banning, and fining anyone for smoking in public, we’ve just seen it.


Written by auldgit

July 24, 2009 at 10:29 pm

Vomit and Winehouse – any difference?

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Someone might think the Auldgit has a thing about the Amy Winehouse thing, nothing could be further from the truth and the Auldgit would be much happier if he he could look at his news feeds and not be sickened by this waste of space and skin being thrust in his face on an almost daily basis.

Today was partcicularly sickening, as we were presented with relatively graphic description of Winehouse’s filthy personal life and habits, which show it has little concern for itself, and less respect for others, as it covers designer clothes with its own vomit, and has no care as they are returned filthy for the owners to handle:

Employees at a top London store made a gruesome discovery recently when Amy Winehouse returned some borrowed designer dresses – covered in vomit.

An all night bender resulted in the soul singer covering £25,000 worth of Harvey Nichols gear in her trade mark messiness, according to a new report.

The Mirror quotes an insider as saying, “Unfortunately, while wearing one of the frocks, she went on an all-night bender.

“She ended up in the loos, where she was violently sick. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.”

The PRs at Harvey Nichols were disgusted by Amy’s lack of personal hygiene after the dresses were returned painted in chunks and green mould.

The insider added, “She eventually couriered them back on Monday, but didn’t wrap them separately. So sick had gone on all the clothes.

“Even worse, green, furry mould had developed on some gowns, making them unwearable.

“The store publicists weren’t best pleased. They send stuff out to celebs all the time, but it never gets into such a state.

“I doubt Amy will be sent any more designer gear for a while and the store has now asked for its £25k back.”

Written by auldgit

September 25, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Rehab is…

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They sent me to rehab, but…

I ran away from the freaks.

Written by auldgit

September 20, 2008 at 10:58 pm

Amy Winehouse appears in Disaster Movie

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According to the word on the web – and I can well believe it after having seen the trailer on TV – the horror that is Amy Winehouse actually played the part of herself in Disaster Movie.

On one of her famous “disappearances” – officially attributed to being in rehab/hospital/prison/asylum, she was actually taking some time out to get into the part, and while her minders usually see to such such things as washing her, keeping the alien attached to her head in some sort of order, filing down her fangs, and scraping some of the makeup she pastes on to her face, all these things were left to develop and mature for a few weeks until she was really “ripe” and looked like her natural self.

It’s said that the smell and language was so bad (not rude, just the unintelligible dribbling she used by then), everyone that had to appear on set with her, including the crew, demanded Danger Money to make up for the number of times they threw up if they got too close, and to pay for the shots they demanded, in case they caught something from her.

Even the alien was complaining at the end, and called in its ambassador to insist on having her hosed down the moment filming was over, otherwise it was going to off and eat some children instead.

Written by auldgit

September 4, 2008 at 3:19 pm

Winehouse rumour machine moved into top gear

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After carelessly being caught lashing out violently towards an innocent fan in the audience at Glastonbury, it looks as if the cheque books were out in force, and a few handy witnesses have come out of the woodwork with suitably honourable stories that turn the evilness into a virtuous and wronged individual.

Not only do they manage to come up the guy that was supposedly whacked, he’s such a nice, big-hearted, all round good guy, that he’s “disappointed”, but has no intention of making a complaint (to the police).

Neither would anyone else with the chance of a cheque on the horizon.

I don’t know what the rules are for getting into Tussaud’s waxworks is these days, but I guess they still have the medical section with all the deformed foetuses, body and face casts from those disfigured by illness, and the various freaks that were recorded as wax models.

I suppose they must still have the medical horrors section, and I see that Amy Winehouse is set to be immortalised in wax by Tussaud’s.

They’ll have to do something about the warning on the entrance to the display area though, as the present one is just not adequate to protect anyone of a sensitive or nervous disposition that might wander in see her with that alien attached to her, head, and if the warning is not made more graphic they could end up in court being sued if anyone faints, or collapses and dies from the shock of seeing it.

Written by auldgit

June 30, 2008 at 10:07 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin

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Unstable Winehouse lashes out at concert

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Even when the drug-crazed Winehouse freak is trying to gain sympathy and con people into feeling sorry for her by having her family exaggerate tales of her suffering from the deadly lung disease emphysema, we still have to put up with her horrible appearance being shoved in our faces by the media. At least the truth slipped out in a reference to the London Clinic, where she is being treated for traces of emphysema. TRACES!!! Well, I’ve got traces of money in my pocket, but I still can’t afford to uby fuel and run a car any longer.

So seriously ill is Winehouse that she can still be ferried from her holiday home, eh, oh right, hospital bed and rehabilitation clinic, and is fit enough to perform (mime?) on stage at an outdoor concert – wow, she must be really really ill. And after all that illness, she’s still reported to have lashed out at a fan – lucky fan, imagine having to be treated for rabies, even nowadays.

Her twisted and distorted brain sees fit to decry fellow performers that appeared next her at Glastonbury, and managed to use the highly intelligent method of a string of four-letter words when referring to rapper Kanye West, but clearly thinks her jailbird husband deserves much better consideration, even though he’s in prison for causing grievous bodily harm and perverting the course of justice. A real nice guy, and just like his worse half.

Please Winehouse, get really ill in some way, not a pretend way, go to hospital, and keep out of our faces until you’re fixed, or put to sleep so spare suffering.

Written by auldgit

June 30, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin

Tagged with , , , , , ,

A Winehouse and a Sick Bag please

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It’s torture…

Every time I look at the news or a home there’s some sort of rubbish about the horror that is Winehouse.

I’m now starting to feel physically sick when I see this freak pushed in my face for the umpteenth time – can’t some smart programmer come up with some codes that blocks her scrawny, dirty, hairy, scab covered, bony, drug and alcohol filled body from my eyes BEFORE the image is loaded onto the screen?

What’s the idea with the paint she smears at the side of her eye’s? I don’t get this at all. Apart from telling us she’s not capable of managing to get eye make-up within an inch of her eye, there’s the even sadder aspect that none of the people she’s giving thousand to look after gives a damn, and is prepared to let her go out in public looking like that to be laughed at, rather than doing something for their money!

As if that’s not bad enough, I now have to live with the Sun’s account of her cheating on her man while he’s inside, and she’s bonking the Babyshambles or whatever their name is.

She must paying them for it – would you let any fluid’s from that infected bag of skin touch you if it sneezed in the same room as you, let alone anything that might pass as a result of intimate body contact – the very thought’s enough to make your skin crawl.

You’d need a guaranteed, high-speed, emergency route straight to outpatients if you were daft enough to let THIS touch you…


Written by auldgit

May 3, 2008 at 10:54 pm