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The Fatz Files

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The Auld Git read with some amazement that Vanessa Feltz only managed to get voted the 93rd worst Briton in Channel 4‘s poll of the 100 Worst Britons back in 2003.

The Auld Git considers himself fortunate not to live somewhere where any of her drivel is spouted over the airwaves, as her appearances on TV are more than enough to warrant a leap for the remote and a rapid change of channel.

A thoroughly nasty piece of work, unless it’s for the money, it’s hard to see how any man would want to be near this self-centred, self-opinionated, arrogant, rude harpy. Then again, there is at least one divorce in her wake (lucky escape brother).

It’s nice to read the occasional article that relates how she gets ejected from some jobs for making ridiculous demands, and for treating lesser staff as slaves – the only downside of these articles is that they still reveal she is laughing all the way to the bank, with contracts figured in the millions. I still find it hard to come to terms with the fact that as a television licence payer, I have ‘voluntarily’ put money in her purse.

If you haven’t seen it, do take any opportunity to see the episode of Celebrity Wife Swap where she swapped places with Debbie McGhee and spent a few day making Paul Daniels life an absolute misery. Debbie was lucky enough only to receive The Wisdom of the Fatz in the aftermath, while Paul did his best to live his life without the benefit of The Wisdom of the Fatz, while still maintaining some dignity while attached to the big fat control freak. (Guess I lose the argument now, what is it they say? If you descend to insults, then you have lost the point. Oh well, I plead provocation in mitigation).

Unfortunately I forget the exact expression she used, but she gave the game away when she made some reference to not getting the respect she deserved. This is a dead give away for someone that doesn’t deserve any respect. The Auld Git has never expected anyone to respect him, but is pleased to receive such respect if earned or offered, and better still if the subject doesn’t come up at all. I had no thoughts of having any respect for the Fatz before seeing the Wife Swap programme, and after it, there’s never going to be any.

The Auld Git’s jaw is recovering, having dropped rapidly after an unfortunate sighting of the Fatz on breakfast TV a few days ago. Having thought she might be due some credit for losing loads of fat in recent years, and changed herself from a big fat waddling porker with chicken wings flapping around whenver she raised her arms, into a remarkably attractive slim woman (given her age), she started to spout the same old rubbish about being fat and happy, and turned back into a roly-poly waddling mini mountain again. Apparently the weight’s being shed again (why bother dear, you’re never going to have the willpower to keep it off) and there she was, clearly mentally picturing herself as thin, while the rest of us have to assault our eyes with the reality. There was the Fatz, squeezed into a short, bright blue mini dress, pouring herself over a sofa, witht the hem riding high and acres of thigh and calf on view, and a weird pair of ugly stilleto heeled shoes that looked as if they would never take the weight if she stood up on them.

There truly is no justice when people like that can earn millions simply because they can attract viewers and listeners to the media.

I’m just sorry for her daughter, just a kid, but laying on the pounds in training to join Britain growing army of the obese without realising it, and without a parent that cares enough to prevent it.

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Written by auldgit

February 4, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin, TV

Tagged with , , ,