The Auld Git’s Blog

Just another Auld Git

Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

Boiled horse voted the ‘LEAST SEXY’ IN SEX AND THE CITY

leave a comment »

Proving that pure tat can make a programme popular, I’ve never seen ‘Sex and the City’, and would never insult myself by choosing to see such rubbish were it not for the endless promotion it receives between other programmes.

One of the things that I’ve never understood is the truly unattractive lead character, who keeps on being promoted as if she was beautiful – she’s not! But has even appeared in adverts for beauty products or perfume – products which clearly don’t work, or if they do, she forgot to use them the day they filmed. Some advert for her own range of overpriced junk.

Clearly an example of promoters trying to maintain a myth by repeating it often enough, but it looks as if it isn’t working any more:

Sarah Jessica Parker has been snubbed by fans of Sex and the City, who have voted her character Carrie Bradshow the show’s least sexy female.

The actress’ cocktail-swilling journalist alter-ego has come bottom of a poll conducted by Pincer Vodka, to mark forthcoming movie sequel Sex and the City 2.

Kristin Davis’ conservative art dealer Charlotte York is the surprising winner, ahead of flamboyant maneater Samantha Jones – played by Kim Cattrall.

Cynthia Nixon’s redhead lawyer Miranda Hobbes claimed fourth place, relegating Bradshaw to fourth, and last, place.

Pincer Vodka CEO Jonathan Engels said: ?We were stunned with the outcome of the poll and we suspect Sarah Jessica Parker might need more than one Cosmopolitan to drown her sorrows.?

So reports The Daily Star Celeb News :: Parker’s Bradshaw voted the ‘least sexy’ in Sex and the City

I’ll carry on laughing at Jeremy Clarkson’s description of this female troll, when he described her as looking like a “BOILED HORSE”.

Written by auldgit

May 17, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Dirty Russell Brand

leave a comment »

Isn’t Russell Brand a dirty creep that should be thrown into the nearest skip, with a prayer that it will be lifted an carried off to an incinerator post-haste?

Without the decency to have a wash, shave and haircut at some time (and I don’t mean a short back and sides, you can have long hair without looking like something the cat or dog dragged in backwards through a hedge or building site), even though I don’t wan to see him because I don’t like gagging, he still has to popup in the news.

Looking as if he’d been living on the streets for a couple of years, and the dirt was caked on, he made an appearance in America, and true to form pulled a cheap shot to get himself noticed, making remarks I won’t dignify here, but were enough to merit some sort of grudging apology from the deranged, drunken smackhead.

Far from being a mistake or slip, if you don’t think the cynical pile of crap didn’t sit down and carefuly choose his insults so they would be outrageous enough to gain him publicity and notoriety, but not have him ousted and rejected after his first appearance Stateside, then you believe in the tooth fairy – and are broke!

Russell Brand should be thrown out in the street, cut off from the ridiculous amounts of cash he has been able to con people out of so far to fund his drug and drink soaked lifestyle (yeh, right, that’s all behind him – see the tooth fairy), and left to starve unless he gets a real job, working 40 hours a week for a pounds an hour, and having to work the same again in overtime to put a roof over his head and food in his mouth.

He’d probably drink what little he was paid, snort it up his nose, or stick it in his arm.

Written by auldgit

September 13, 2008 at 10:14 pm

Sick racist bitch girlfriend provides mitigation for assault

leave a comment »

If you want to try an get off with assaulting some poor bugger, get yourself a golf club, and a dumb stupid thick fat evil racist bitch girlfriend, after making sure you let the media know she has “advanced and life threatening” cervical cancer, even if you have to go and have it given to her, which as a celebrity, you will consider and acceptable thing to do in order to get into the news.

That what a thug called Jack Tweed, 21, of Buckhurst Hill, Essex, who was on Channel 4’s Celebrity Big Brother with girlfriend Jade Goody did – although he still ended up with 9 months behind bars.

You’d have to admit that that isn’t really much of a sentence – if the auld git set about somebody’s head with a golf club, then after the fractured skull that the first whack would cause, the all would be for an undertaker – not a paramedic.

These people are just scum, and should be taken away somewhere, lost and then forgotten.

I didn’t approve of this sort of thing before, and still don’t for ordinary people, even criminals, but for celebrity trash like this, something along the lines of being dragged along the public streets in chains, or being stoned (little stones that is, we don’t want to get too uncivilised, but we are dealing with celebrities) in public.

You could sell tickets, and maybe even the stones, say a bag of 50 for a tenner – sounds like god value to me, and the money could go to their victims.

Written by auldgit

September 1, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Posted in Celebrity vermin, TV

Tagged with , , , , ,

Dame Kelly Holmes sells out

leave a comment »

Dame Kelly Holmes, DBE (also MBE (Mil.)) (born April 19, 1970) is a retired English middle-distance athlete. She won gold medals in the 800 metres and the 1500 metres at the 2004 Summer Olympics.

While she could go and do something useful, Holmes now chooses to sell herself cheaply (although I’m sure that she doesn’t come cheap) and is now on our TV screens in a track suit – isn’t she retired? – pleading with us to eat Kellog’s Corn Flakes, as if they were some sort of magic cure to tiredness and listlessness during the day.

I think someone one said you’d get as much “goodness” from eating the packet as you would from eating the corn flakes inside it, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if that wasn’t far from true.

Cashing in on her past success on the track, she now keeps popping up on television, but is truly drab and depressing to see, and is clearly haunting anything that smacks of celebrity and money, money, money. Having appeared, and disappeared, on the BBC as a presenter who would have made a great advert for autocues, she’s gone on to inflict her style on various celebrity dance shows, opened new ventures, been interviewed on TV, and made the obligatory sympathy plea telling us she’s had/got depression, considered suicide (what went wrong?), self-harmed, and lost motivation.

With all those problem’s, shouldn’t the last place she’d want to be be on television, in public, seen by millions?

What a comedown, all the way from once successful athlete, down to expensive prop in an over-priced breakfast ceral advert.

Written by auldgit

August 13, 2008 at 8:27 am

Posted in Celebrity vermin, TV

Tagged with , ,

Queen of Mean to walk

leave a comment »

I doubt it.

Ann Robinson seems to have become a multi-millionaire for doing… er… um…

Sorry, I have no idea, all she does is make me jump for the remote to change the programme if I’m unfortunate to catch sight of her well stretched plastic surgery when it forces itself onto my screen when changing channels.

However, the good news is that she’s been handed a driving ban after finally succeeding in totting up enough penalty points.

This is long overdue, because all the other points she amassed on the way to that ban appear to have been for speeding too.

In typical TV celebrity vermin mode, the arrogant harridan attempted to lie to the court and the judge by claiming that when she committed the final offence that earned her that ban, she, according to her counsel, was disoriented and not aware of the 30 mph limit that applied in the area she was zipping through at 43 mph.

Only a TV celebrity that thinks that the sun shines out of her backside would be arrogant enough to thing that the court was so simple-minded that it would thing that a admitting NOT paying attention by a speeder with multiple convictions was a reason for mitigation.

UPDATE ANN – next time the surgeon is tightening up that facelift, even though he’s at the other end of your body from where your brains are, have him stick a brain cell or two in anyway, and you might realise that since you were already a convicted speeder, the worst thing you could do was admit you weren’t paying attention while you were driving. You should have been crawling along at 30 mph, or less, unless you were rock-solid certain that the limit where you were driving was higher.

Written by auldgit

July 10, 2008 at 11:13 pm

Big Brother – the dregs

leave a comment »

I’m always disappointed when Big Brother comes back on the small screen.

Not because it’s not as good as I hope. God knows, I didn’t understand why anyone would waste a second of their life watching this rubbish the first time it appeared, and how it’s still managing to attract people after the so-called revelation that it’s all fixed just to make it sensationalised “car-crash” TV only serves to demonstrate the mental deficiencies of those who sit glued to their sets watching it.

You can’t avoid it, and are guaranteed to see bits of the freak-show while your digital TV clunks through the channels, and the current batch is no exception to the description, looking and behaving like a collection of sub-normal weirdos that you’d want to cross the street to avoid for fear of your life. Or, as some might say, if you found them on fire in the street, you’d try and calm them down for moment to ask them of they could give you directions to the nearest public conveniences.

So, why would I be disappointed at the return of Big Brother?

Simple.

boot

In the real Big Brother story, 1984, our hero (Winston Smith) described Big Brother as “A boot, eternally stamping on a face”, and the fact that’s not what we’re treated to being allowed to watch for the seemingly endless hours and days that Big Brother is televised is what’s disappointing.

The participants are ideal material, and watching them being stamped on for hours would be an absolutely wonderful use of the hours that are otherwise wasted on broadcasting the rubbish that appears to fill the hours of Big Brother.

Written by auldgit

June 30, 2008 at 9:52 pm

Speeding comedian Kielty laughs at the law

leave a comment »

In a decision that can only have you wondering how many people were paid off, or funny handshakes were exchanges, a piece of rubbish called Patrick Kielty has conned his way out of a driving ban.

While ordinary folk like you and me would be banned automatically for exceeding 100 mph, with no question of an appeal, this waster gets off with the equivalent (for someone on a TV presenter salary) of a pat on the back and a hint not to get caught doing that again in the near future.

The scum doesn’t even have the grace or good sense to keep quiet and skulk away, but has to shove two fingers up to the rest of us by joking about it, and dismissing he result.

“I think it was a fair result,” he said.

“To be honest with you, with the price of petrol at the moment, I was sort of half looking forward to a ban.”

How can it be a fair result if the little rat wasn’t banned!

Apparently Sheriff Thomas Millar said he took into account the impact of a ban on the presenter’s charity work – perhaps while exchanging funny handshakes with the evil liitle man’s lawyer.

His lawyer, Gerald Tierney, said Kielty normally flew and was therefore unfamiliar with the road.

“Having had a busy day working in London, his concentration slipped,” he told the court.

“An error of judgment occurred.”

Ordinary, little, “unimportant” people have the same, and greater problems, and depend on their ability to drive to make a living, not just swan around pretending to work. When they do the same, they lose their licence, their jobs, their livelihoods, even their families.

But…

That’s ok, because they don’t have Mr Kielty’s involvement in “high-profile” charity events and smaller fundraisers such as golf tournaments.

The irony of it all – Kielty should be sent here

Hundreds of speeding tickets totalling more than £18,000 in fines are to be issued for motoring offences during the weekend of a Highlands music festival.

Mobile camera units on routes to Rock Ness, near Inverness, detected about 300 drivers over the speed limit.

Last year, 500 motorists were caught, prompting a warning from the festival’s organisers for revellers travelling by road to drive with care.

Those detected could have three points on their licence and be fined £60.

Postcards issued

The Northern Safety Camera Partnership, which operates speed cameras in the Highlands, said the figures represented a “significant improvement” on last year.

Postcards issued with every festival ticket included directions to the site as well as information about the speed limits for different road types.

Insp John Smith, of the partnership, said: “Our job is not about catching speeders, it’s about reminding drivers of the dangers of inappropriate speed and the risks that they pose both to themselves and to other road users.”

Written by auldgit

June 24, 2008 at 12:36 pm